


Not a Single Force On Earth Could Stop The Trembling Of My Hand

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Summer Camp, Camp Skaia, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-25
Updated: 2013-06-25
Packaged: 2017-12-16 02:28:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/856715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>((a scene from lexi's "camp skaia" AU)) </p><p>At Camp Skaia, Dave and John's relationship is strained. John overheard insults about him, and has been having issues forgiving Dave for not standing up for him at the time. When John overhears a second conversation insulting him, Dave stands up for John and John hears. He later finds Dave on the dock.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not a Single Force On Earth Could Stop The Trembling Of My Hand

**Author's Note:**

>   
>  _I remember when you leaned in quick to kiss me,_   
>  _and I swear,_   
>  _that not a single force on earth could stop the trembling of my hand._   
> 
> 
>   
>  hello! this is a oneshot from the lovely [lexi's](http://thesunmaid.tumblr.com/) AU "camp skaia"  
> the idea very much belongs to her, and i advise you to follow her because she's literally perfect and i adore her lots! you should [read the entire plot of the fic.](http://thesunmaid.tumblr.com/post/47332393199/that-campstuck-au-really-really-rough-outline-of) this is just a scene from it!
> 
> anyway, the title and the lyrics from above is from "andria" by la dispute, and my friend thought it fit well. so yeah! enjoy! : )

“Uh, hello? John? Earth to John! Are you even listening?!” 

Your eyes snap up from the table to meet with Vriska's dark blue ones. 

“Yeah, sorry Vris. I was just, y'know, thinking.” 

She perks an eyebrow and gives you a small scowl. “Well, stop thinking and listen. I'm trying to tell a story here!” 

You release a deep sigh as you lean back in your chair, looking across the cafeteria table to focus on Vriska continue her rant about some new drama occurring in her group of friends. 

As you watch her talk on, tuning her out in your head again, you begin to think about what YOUR friend group is like. You don't really have a group of friends, you suppose, just really a few people that you can count on. Well, minus one. Dave. 

Your friends keep telling you that he's an asshole. That he's a huge dick, and that he doesn't deserve you as a friend. Ever since the incident, you've been less cheerful, and everyone has noticed. Eventually, after some pestering from your friends, you finally came clean on what exactly happened. 

You should be angry, you should be god damn furious at Dave, but... you can't bring yourself to be angry at him. 

You never fucking could, because you're stuck having a ginormous crush on the douche. 

A couple days ago, you overheard Dave and his friends talking about how obnoxious you are. Dave didn't encourage the harsh words nor stand up for you, just laughed along. Honestly, you wish more than anything that you never even heard it in the first place. If you never even knew of that conversation between Dave and his “friends”, you and Dave would still be friends. He's been making attempts of starting up conversation, but they're usually bland and go nowhere. Eventually, he got the hint that you were not in the mood to talk anymore, and he backed down and stopped trying altogether. Now, the two of you don't speak to each other unless necessary. It hurt seeing him constantly, and each time you feel the need to talk to him, you remember the cruel ring of his laugh echoing in your head, and you immediately cringe back. 

You also wish you never heard the conversation, because maybe then you wouldn't know the truth. The truth that you're annoying, and Dave probably wants nothing to do with you. 

You don't consider yourself a weak person, but you've never really heard anything bad being said about yourself from other people. You haven't built up a tolerance to be able to brush it aside, to not give a shit what anyone says about you. So when Dave's friend called you obnoxious, you really took it to heart. For the past couple days, you've been staying up at night watching the top bunk twist and turn with Dave's movements while he sleeps, wondering if you truly are annoying. 

You never really thought about it, but you suppose your happy persona could be taken as annoying. Maybe thats why Dave was so reluctant to finally befriend you. Maybe he doesn't even consider you a friend, maybe he doesn't even _like_ you. Not many people do, you realize. You've never had many friends, maybe it's because you're annoying everyone. 

You haven't told anyone this yet, but you're really starting to feel self loathing. Maybe if you weren't so god damn annoying, Dave would actually like you. Possibly even in a more than friends way, if you weren't so _fucking obnoxious._ You're surprised you even have friends at all.

Also, lately your anxiety has been acting up even more, and you've been having many panic attacks. You've also become an insomniac, finding sleep hard to come by while you try to focus on breathing. Deep breath in, deep breath out. 

It never helps. 

You haven't told anybody about your attacks, though. They'd probably think less of you if they knew you had anxiety issues, and you don't want that. It's not a thing to be proud of, and you'd rather have it be a secret. 

Brought back to reality again, you focus on Vriska, watching the way her lips move with her words. You turn your gaze away from her for a moment to focus on another table. A few of them are staring at you, then they turn back to each other and speak for a few more moments, then break into laughter. 

Your throat closes up, panic seizing over you. 

They're talking about you. They're _laughing at you._

You feel the walls of the cafeteria getting smaller as a panic attack grasps ahold of you. _You can't breathe, you can't breathe, you're dying..._

You gasp for air and cut Vriska off in the middle of her rant. “I need to go the bathroom.” You choke out, and her face contorts with worry. Before she can ask whats wrong, though, you're already halfway to the bathrooms on the other side of the hall. You see Dave sitting at the table next to it, talking to the boys who insulted you. You zip by them, hiding behind a few people on your way in, praying they didn't notice you. 

When you do finally manage to get in the bathroom, you run into the nearest stall and lock yourself in it, taking deep breaths. 

_Breathe in, breathe out. You're okay._ You tell yourself, your fingers gripping your knees until your knuckles go white. 

You're feeling a bit better when you hear voices come into the bathroom, breaking the silence. 

“Yo, dude, have you guys noticed that the little freak hasn't been being as fuckin' annoying lately?” 

“Who, that dumb John kid?” Another voice asks, and your throat seizes up again. It's them. It's Dave's “friends”, and they're talking about you. 

But wait... is Dave there with them? 

You manage to sneak your head a bit lower without making it too noticeable, but just enough to see their shoes. Sure enough, Dave's red converse come into view, and you don't think you're breathing, your lungs frozen in mid-breath. 

“Yeah, he hasn't been half as disgustingly enthusiastic as he normally is.” The first voice says. _Breathe, John, you're okay._

A sink turns on. “I know, thank fuckin' god. He's so fucking annoying, I'm surprised he even has one friend. Vriska's a babe, I dunno what she's doin' hanging with that jackass. I bet she doesn't even like him.” The second boy remarks. 

Tears begin flooding your eyes. _Breathe, John, you're okay._

Dave's friends make several more comments on how your enthusiastic personality is frankly "disgusting", and you're choking back tears, rubbing your eyes and trying not to be a wimp. You fail miserably.

Finally, as if sensing you coming apart at the seems, Dave speaks up. “What the fuck do you guys have against him? Seriously. He didn't even do anything to you, just leave him be.” 

…

Wait, what? 

The first boy snorts. “What the fuck? Why are you standing up for him? Do you _like_ him or something?” 

The second boy lets out a childish laugh. “Yeah! I bet that freak is Dave's little _boyfriend,_ huh?” 

The silence that follows after that rings in your ears, and you're holding your breath. Your mind is racing with thoughts on how Dave would react to that, hope rising in you, but you quickly dismiss it. Like Dave would stand up for _you_. You're a freak. 

“Oh my god.” Dave says in a voice blander than usual. “I'm fucking done, I'm so fucking done.” 

Theres more silence. 

“What-” The second boy begins, but Dave cuts him off. 

“Just shut the fuck up for like two fucking seconds, and listen you insufferable god damned douchewads. You are _literally making fun of a person for being happy_. Just think about that for a moment. Let it sink into your idiot brains. In what god damned fucked up universe is it alright to call someone a freak just for being kind? Are you really that fucking dense? Maybe if you gave John a chance and stopped being textbook worthy DICKWADS, you would think differently. He's actually a good person, unlike the two of you pathetic excuses for human beings. So get your head out of your fucking asses, and grow the hell up.” 

You hear him step around them, and walk out of the bathroom. You can actually imagine the two boys' faces, their mouths dropped open. You almost giggle at the thought, before you realize you need to stay quiet. 

“What the-” One boy says, but the other cuts him off. 

“Whatever. Fuck him, he's a fucking dick. He doesn't know what he's talking about. I never liked him, anyway.” The other one states shortly, then they both retreat out of the bathroom in discussion about how he was out of their group. 

After a couple more breaths, you finally process what the actual hell just happened. Dave stood up for you. Dave Strider just actually gave up his “cool friends” for you. 

You can't help the goofy grin that spreads across your face, and you get up from your position in the bathroom stall to race the hell out of there and into the cafeteria, looking around. Dave isn't anywhere to be seen, so you quickly walk up to Vriska, who is sitting at your table by herself. 

“Vris! Have you seen Dave?” You ask her breathlessly as you run up to the table. 

She raises her eyebrows. “Yeah, he just walked out of here. He looked pretty pissed. But John, are you sure you're-” 

“I'm fine, I'll be right back okay?” You say quickly, and you leave her calling after you as you speed-walk out of the building into the main outside pavilion. 

You look around, trying to spot the bright cream color of Dave's sweater. You don't really know how to place the emotions swirling inside of you right now, and you feel like you're choking. You don't know how you'll react when you face Dave. 

As if fate was working in your favor, you finally spot Dave on the dock, sitting with his feet lazily dangling above the water. You gulp as you head over to him, quickly sneaking up behind him before dropping down next to him. 

He jumps a bit in surprise, and you let your goofy grin show on your face again. 

“John?” He asks, his eyebrows pulling together in the most adorable manner. Well, at least to you. 

“Thanks.” You say, grinning wider despite your best efforts to contain your enthusiasim. 

“For what?” He asks, his eyebrows still furrowed together in confusion. 

You bump your shoulder with his. “For sticking up for me. I heard everything, I was in a stall in the bathroom.” 

He looks away. “Oh. Yeah. Well, it was no problem, man.” 

You're both silent for a moment, then you speak up again. “I heard what they said about me a couple days ago, too. You laughed along.” 

Dave pauses, guilt flooding into his features. “I'm sorry. You know I didn't mean that, right? I wanted to stick up for you I really did but-” 

You cut him off. “It's fine. I understand. But hey, at least you did today. And that's what counts.” 

You smile softly at him, and just for a moment, a flicker of a smile back dances across his face. 

“So,” He says, easing up a bit. “We're friends again?” 

“Of course!” You say cheerily, bumping your shoulder with his again. “You can't get rid of me that easily, heh!” 

A corner of his lips perk up a bit, not that you were looking or anything. “I never wanted to.” 

“Good.” You state, and he stands up, offering a hand to you. You take it, and you're both standing face to face. 

“You wanna go back in there?” He asks, gesturing to the cafeteria with a nod of his head. 

You shake your head quickly. “No, I would rather not.” 

“Yeah, me too. What do you want to do then?” 

You think quietly for a moment, then feel a slow grin spread across your face. You were on a dock, right next to the water, and you were both standing. What better opportunity for your prankster's gambit? 

“We could do this.” You say swiftly before you grab a fistfull of his sweater and push back so he trips, arms flailing wildly. Before he can officially fall in the water, though, he manages to catch your shirt with his hand and cause the both of you to go crashing into the water, you on top of him. 

When you finally manage to resurface, Dave coughs wildly, glaring at you. 

“You fucking dick.” He manages between coughs, and you giggle wildly. 

You notice Dave trying very hard to stay afloat, and you remember he just learned how to swim... from you. You fondly look back on the night you taught him to swim, which featured stripping down to your boxers and dealing with a very frustrated Dave who found swimming to be extremely difficult. Heh. 

You swim closer to him, smiling. “You need help there, buddy?” 

“No, fuck you. You got my clothes all wet, you douche. This was my favorite sweater too.” He whines. 

You snort. “I know, you wear it every day.” 

He narrows his eyes from behind his shades. “You crusin' for a brusin'?”

You giggle again. “You know it.” Then you unleash a full attack of splashes, and Dave splashes back, the two of you grinning like idiots and splashing one another until Dave forfeits and you laugh at him.

“Can we get out of here? I'm pretty sure theres dirt in places that dirt should not be.” 

You grin. “Yeah, of course.” 

You begin to swim to the shore, when you hear your name being called after you. You turn around an raise an eyebrow, your eyes focusing on a red-faced Dave. 

“Um. I, uh, can't swim well and, uh, I'm going to need you to... help me.” He says awkwardly, and you grin wider, nodding. 

“Oh, little Dave-y needs to be helped to shore?” 

“Shut the hell up.” 

“Hey! I'm just trying to help here!” 

He grunts while you swim over to him, thinking. How exactly are you going to help him swim back? 

You awkwardly wrap a hand around his waist, bringing him closer to you. The two of you don't say anything for a bit, and you figure that Dave not pushing you away is a good thing, so you begin your descend to the shore. 

The two of you don't speak, you just focus on keeping you both above water while going in the direction of the shore, and Dave just looks at you. When you finally make it to the point where you can feel the lake floor you stop and turn to Dave. 

“Think you can handle it from here?” You ask with a small smile, and Dave nods. 

You don't exactly unwrap your arm from around his waist, and the two of you are standing in lake water, not saying anything. 

Finally, you break the stillness by reaching forward and wrapping both your arms around him, burying your face in his neck and hugging him closely. 

“Thanks again.” You whisper into his neck, and you feel him shiver. 

“'s no problem.” Dave mumbles, and you smile against his skin. 

When you pull back, your faces are close together, and you see Dave's cheeks go a little pink. 

“Dave?” You ask teasingly, and he frowns a bit. 

“John, I-” He says, then hesitates, trying to piece together his thoughts. 

You take this opportunity to press your foreheads together, your noses bumping. You hope he doesn't freak out, but when he notices he just gulps and turns a deeper shade of red. You take this as encouragement, and tease him more. 

“You...?” You ask, encouraging him to go on. 

“I...” He stammers, seeming truly at a loss for words. You stay like that for a moment longer before his gaze flickers down then up again, and it hits you. 

You think he wants to kiss you. 

As an experiment you slide your hands further down so they're resting on his hip bones, grabbing lightly and pushing you two even closer together, your bodies pressed against each other in the cold water. Dave isn't pulling away, just looking at you with his red cheeks and wide eyes from behind his shades that you can only slightly make out. 

You lean in slightly, and Dave meets you halfway there, your noses bumping together as your lips finally collide, your chapped ones gliding against his smooth ones. You distantly taste the salt of the lake mixed in with a bit of a mint flavoring from the gum he always chews and you tilt your head to the side, getting a better angle. 

The cold water of the lake is nothing to you, your body heating up while you gasp against his lips. You feel his tongue tracing your lips, and you open them so he can have full access to your mouth, the warmness of his tongue slipping into your mouth as your breathing mingles with his. Finally, you're the one to pull back for air, which you take as a good sign. You rest your forehead against his, holding him close in the freezing temperature of the water. You're both panting, trying to catch your breath, and you giggle a bit at the hilarity of the situation. 

“So I guess you do want me to be your little boyfriend, huh?”

“Shut up.” He comments shortly, then grabs you in for another kiss. 

Needless to say, you don't sleep that night. But for different reasons other than anxiety.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks a bunch for reading! i know the anxiety thing wasn't canon in lexi's AU, but i thought it would be an interesting touch. it was also easy to write, because i have anxiety as well and writing this kind of helped it, because i was havin a bit of a panic attack due to a bad storm outside. so yeah! i hope you liked it!
> 
> my tumblr is [here](http://johnegdaddy.tumblr.com/), you can follow me if you'd like to : ) also, if you liked this, [check out my other fics too! ](http://archiveofourown.org/users/johnegdaddy/works)


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